Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Our Deepest Fear, My Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous, talented, fabulous?Actually, who are you not to be?You are a child of God.Your playing small does not serve the world.There is nothing enlightened about shrinkingso that other people won't feel insecure around you.We are all meant to shine, as children do.We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciouslygive other people permission to do the same.As we are liberated from our own fear,our presence automatically liberates others.

a return to love - marianne williamson

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Plain White T's

I was on my way to Best Buy to pick up the new Plain White T's album when I hear through the KROQ radiowaves that they are having a signing and a free concert if you puchase the disc at Virgin. So I thought why not head to The Block instead because I love that band almost as much as I love the word "free".

So I go to the signing with my sister and we get to listen to the band play a few of their songs in front of a small crowd and then get the opportunity to get our CD's signed by the band members. So that was fun, but then we got to go to the free concert at the Troubodour. Now that was amazing. We we right in front at center stage. My legs went dead having to stand for so long, but it was well worth it. The Plain White T's are a great live band. I love listening to the album, but it doesn't do them justice. You have to see these guys live. They rock!

I am so addicted to concerts. I just love music so much. If I have the opportunity to go see a band I love I just can't pass it up. I am very excited about some upcoming concerts I will be attending. I really wanted to see The Killers in October, but I didn't get tickets. Maybe next time.

However, I do have tickets to see The All-American Rejects in December. Yes, I am seeing them again. This will be my third Rejects concert in 9 months. I love them, but the reason I really wanted to see this show is for the supporting bands. They will be playing with Gym Class Heroes and Motion City Soundtrack. The Format will also be there and they fucking suck, but I will deal. I love GCH and MCS. They are 2 of my favorite bands at the moment and this will be my second time seeing both of them.

Well, I need to get some sleep so later.

Friday, September 15, 2006

I believe in me. Do you?

So I have finally gotten some of the recognition that I deserve. It feels fucking awesome. Someone actually noticed my hardwork. It's a nice change from my past experiences. I've always known I was a hard worker, but often that isn't enough. It seems like you have to constanly be kissing someone's ass in order to get anywhere in life. Well that's not me. I won't sellout no matter where it could get me. I've seen how the game is played and it's really sad how many intelligent, capable people are willing to get sucked in. I have absolutely no respect for anyone I have worked for who plays favorites. I mean come on why don't you stop acting like your 5 and join the adult world. Don't you realize that people are only kissing your ass to promote themselves.

Maybe you're just a fucking idiot!

I like knowing that any opportunites that come my way are well deserved. I'm a smart girl and I don't need to do anything that's beneath me to succeed in life. I have my dreams and I believe that someday they will be my reality.

Even if no one else believes in me, I always will.
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Wednesday, September 6, 2006

I feel like rain...


as the curtain closes on another day.

Sunday, September 3, 2006

My Summer

So the end of summer is rapidly approaching and I'm going to miss it because it actually turned out to be a great one. My summer started with my college graduation. Yeah, I know, I still can't believe I've graduated. After all of that hard work there is still one question I need to answer, "What the FUCK am I supposed to do with the rest of my life?" Well that may take some time to answer. Anyways graduation was an amazing experience and I am so proud of myself for actually completing something so important.

After graduation I was off to New York for a much needed vacation. I had never been there before and was incredibly excited to have the opportunity to visit a city with such a rich history. New York was amazing and so unbelievable different from Orange County. Although I like the laid back atmosphere here, the fast paced lifestyle in New York was refreshing. That city never stops moving. I could definitely see myself living there at some point in my life.

I had the opportunity to catch up with a lot of family while in NY. That had to be the best part. I got to see relatives I had never met and ones that I hadn't seen in years. I went just about everywhere with my camera except when I went to the Yankee game. I saw the Boston Red Sox play the Yankees. I love that rivalry and there is nothing like a game at Yankee Stadium. Their fans are so passionate about the team and sometimes you get so caught up watching a Boston fan and a NY fan arguing that you forget there is a baseball game going on. It was a great game. Yankees won! I wouldn't have it any other way.

NY is a great place for art lovers like me. I had to make sure I got a chance to go museums like The Met, The Guggenheim, and MOMA. I saw so many beautiful pieces by Degas, Renoir, Monet, Pissarro, and Cézanne. I love those French Impressionists. I also saw a whole exhibit on Jackson Pollock and more Picassos than I could have ever imagined.

Being that it was my first time in New York I had to do all the touristy stuff. So of course I saw the Brooklyn Bridge, Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Central Park, the Empire State Building, Times Square and so much more. I even took in a Broadway show. I took so many amazing photos. The architecture is so beautiful you can't help but photograph every building you see. I will never forget this trip. I will definitely go back, hopefully soon.

So after NY it was time for a change. So I got a new job and dumped the shit hole I was working at. Seriously every time I went to that job I wanted to slit my wrists. So fuck you JJ, you don't deserve someone with my work ethic, dependability and loyalty.

Ok so now that I was on to bigger and better things it was time to go to some concerts and hear some great music. Fist up was Warped Tour. So many great bands, and so little time. I couldn't have asked for a better lineup. I got to see incredible bands that I already loved like Motion City Soundtrack, Gym Class Heroes, Paramore, and The Academy Is. I also discovered new bands that I can't stop listening to like The Plain White T's and Hellogoodbye. It was hot, I was sweaty and sticky, but it was all worth it.

Next were Teddy Geiger and Lifehouse at the O.C. Fair. I went for Teddy Geiger because I love his music. He is an incredible musician. I went just sort of liking Lifehouse and came out of the show really liking them. The show was good. I had lots of fun.

So my last concert of the summer was with one of my favorite bands at the moment, The All-American Rejects. Damone opened for them and they were ok, but they bored me probably because I was just so excited about seeing The Rejects for a second time. I have to admit that I just love the lead singer Tyson Ritter. They are so good live. Their show was great and I didn't want it to end, but as all good things do, it did. So these were some amazing concerts and I hope to see many more great shows in the future. I wouldn't mind seeing any of these bands again.

Toward the end of July I started volunteering at the Orange County Performing Arts Center. I love it because I get to see free shows like musicals. I enjoy it because I am actually doing something for me.

So as usual the summer is filled with shitty movie after shitty movie. I saw so much shit. There is just so much crap out there; it's hard to find those really great films that leave you feeling like you just saw the most amazing and unique film. I saw WTC and I thought it was well done, but I can't really say that I enjoyed it because what can you really say about a film about such an unimaginable real-life event. Intense is really the only word that can describe it. After having just been to NY and visiting the WTC site I just cant believe that a few people actually survived having an entire building fall onto them. Intense.

I had the pleasure of seeing Little Miss Sunshine. That was by far the best film I have seen all year. If you haven't seen it you must because it's just so amazing. I loved it; it's just so funny and refreshingly original.

So anyways I think that's all. I guess its time to move along and start living the rest of my life. I hope it's good.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Weenie Roast!

Yeah, I had tickets to Weenie Roast. I know you're so jealous. It was the most awesome concert ever. AFI was definitely the best band of the night. Panic! At The Disco and Taking Back Sunday were also amazing. But the highlight of the night had to be the suprise guest. Former Nirvana member and current Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl played accoustic versions of Times Like These, Best of You, and one of my favorite songs ever, Everlong. Hearing him sing Everlong is hands down the best moment I've ever experienced at a concert. It was magnificent. The entire show was great. I am so glad I got the chance to see so many of my favorite bands all at once. I still can't believe I got tickets. It sucks that you couldn't be there, but I got to go and that's really all that matters.

Up next: The All-American Rejects at the O.C. Fair - I can't wait. I love them!

Friday, May 5, 2006

You're Everything I'm Not

You're everything I'm not
Everything I want to be
Perfect, unlike me
Everyone wants me to be you
That's something I will probably never achieve
Talented, unlike me
You're everything I'm not
Everything I hope to be
Intelligent, unlike me
I can't stand to look at you
I am jealous of everything you are
Disappointed in everything I'm not, everything I could be
You're everything I'm not
Everything I wish to be
Everything I will never be
You're everything but me

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Invisible Children Global Night Commute April 29, 2006

The Global Night Commute is a worldwide event organized by the Invisible Children Inc. organization. The Night Commute which will take place on April 29, 2006, will feature people from around the world converging on urban centers in solidarity with displaced Ugandan children attempting to avoid capture by the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA), as is prominantley displayed in the film "Invisible Children". The Global Night Commute will involve a trek of thousands of men, women, and children from around the world into major cities where they will mimic the nightly commute of the Ugandan children by marching en masse from one point to another and sleeping at their final destination for the entire night. The Commute is scheduled to occur in most major cities in the United States, as well as other locations throughout the world. The goal of this movement is to raise awareness and ultimately end Africa's longest running conflict by facilitating a change in the polices of the United States government in regard to the situation.
On April 29, 2006, join over 41,000 people who have already signed up to take part in this event. To sign up or for more information regarding the Global Night Commute and Invisible Children please visit
http://www.invisiblechildren.com/

If you live in the Orange County area there is a Commute taking place in Costa Mesa at Orange Coast College. There will also be Commutes taking place in Long Beach at City Hall, as well as in the Los Angeles area in Santa Monica at City Hall.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Youth Against Poverty

"Be the change you wish to see in this world."

-Gandhi

Youth Against Poverty is an organzation that devotes its time to spreading awareness about child poverty. The organization's hope is that by spreading the word about child poverty people will feel empowered to do something. Knowledge is power and we can use this power to change the world. Child poverty isn't just a problem in developing nations, it is also a problem in our own country. Children are the future, but first we must give them a chance at having a future. These innocent children don't have a voice, so please lend them your voice and spread the word about child poverty. By helping to eradicate child poverty we will be giving these children a first chance at having a life. Read the facts below and be aware of the world around you. One person really can change the world, but we must also unite and work together to makes these changes last forever. Give a child a chance and spread the word.


Global Facts:

- About 24,000 people die every day from hunger or hunger-related causes. Three-fourths of the deaths are children under the age of five. (United Nations)

- Every year nearly 11 million children die before their fifth birthday. (Millennium Campaign)

- Every 30 seconds an African child dies of malaria - more than one million child deaths a year. (UN Millennium Project)

- Every year more than 10 million children die of hunger and preventable diseases - that's over 30,000 per day and one every 3 seconds. (Millennium Campaign)

- More than 800 million people go to bed hungry every day...300 million are children. Of these 300 million children, only eight percent are victims of famine or other emergency situations. More than 90 percent are suffering long-term malnourishment and micronutrient deficiency. (UN Millennium Project)

- Every 3.6 seconds another person dies of starvation and the large majority are children under the age of 5. (UN Millennium Project)

- Five million people, mostly children, die each year from water-borne diseases. (UN Millennium Project)

- 600 million children live in absolute poverty. (Millennium Campaign)

- 30,000 children die each day due to poverty. That is about 210,000 children each week, or just under 11 million children under five years of age, each year. (Unicef)

- Number of children in the world: 2.2 billion. Number in poverty: 1 billion (every second child) (Global Issues)

- 10.6 million died in 2003 before they reached the age of 5 (same as children population in France, Germany, Greece and Italy) (Global Issues)

- 1.4 million die each year from lack of access to safe drinking water and adequate sanitation. (Global Issues)

- 2.2 million children die each year because they are not immunized. (Global Issues)

- 15 million children orphaned due to HIV/AIDS (similar to the total children population in Germany or United Kingdom) (Global Issues)

- More than 10 percent of children in developing countries die before the age of five. (CARE)

- Around 270 million children have no access to healthcare services. (World Vision New Zealand)

- In impoverished communities, children who are born with disabilities or disfigurements are often rejected, abandoned or abused. (World Vision New Zealand)

- The number of youth in the world surviving on less than a dollar a day in 2000 was an estimated 238 million, almost a quarter (22.5 per cent) of the worlds total youth population. (United Nations Population Fund)

- South Asia has the largest concentration of young people in extreme poverty (106 million), followed by sub-Saharan Africa (60 million), East Asia and the Pacific (51 million) and Latin America and the Caribbean (15 million). (United Nations Population Fund)

- Each day, 5,000 children become refugees, and one in every 230 persons in the world is a child or adolescent who has been forced to flee his or her home. (United Nations Population Fund)

- In 2000, an estimated 300,000 soldiers under the age of 18 were involved in 30 conflicts around the world. (United Nations Population Fund)

- Global estimates of street children vary from 100 million (half of them in Latin America) to 250 million, and their numbers are rapidly increasing. (United Nations Population Fund)

- Worldwide, an estimated 352 million children between ages 5 and 17 were economically active in 2000, over 246 million of them working illegally and nearly 171 million in hazardous conditions. (United Nations Population Fund)

- In sub-Saharan Africa, child mortality averages 173 deaths per 1,000 live births. (Unicef)


United States Facts:

- About 15 million children -- one out of every four -- live below the official poverty line. (Hearts & Minds)

- Poverty affects all ages, but an astonishing 48 percent of its victims are children. (Hearts & Minds)

- 22f Americans under the age of 18 -- and 25 under age 12 -- are hungry or at the risk of being hungry. (Hearts & Minds)

- Everyday 2,660 children are born into poverty; 27 die because of it. (Hearts & Minds)

- Children and families are the fastest growing group in the homeless population, representing 40(Hearts & Minds)

- There are more than 73 million children in the United States. 40.2 million live in low-income families. 18.5 million live in poor families. (National Center for Children in Poverty)

- A U.S. child is more than five times as likely to be poor as a child in Denmark, Norway, Finland, Sweden. (Poor Kids in a Rich Country)


We Have The Resources:

- The net wealth of the 10 richest billionaires is $133 billion, more than 1.5 times the total national income of the least developed countries.

- The cost of eradicating poverty is 1% global income.

- Effective debt relief to the 20 poorest countries would cost $5.5 billion - equivalent to the cost of building EuroDisney.

- Providing universal access to basic social services and transfers to alleviate income poverty would cost $80 billion, less than the net worth of the seven richest men in the world.

- Six countries can spend $700 million in nine days on dog and cat food.

- Todays world spend $92 billion on junkfood, $66 billion on cosmetics and nearly $800 billion in 1995 for defence expenditure.

For more information on child poverty and how you can get involved please visit http://www.youthagainstpoverty.org/

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Creating Yourself

Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
~Unknown

I have often wondered what it is that I would do with my life. As a little kid you have all these wonderful, imaginative dreams of what you want to be when you grow up. And then you grow up having realized none of those dreams. We grow up in a world that seems so obsessed with success that we often forget about our true identity. There is so much pressure from the world around me to know exactly what I want to do with my life. I have always felt so lost and often thought I was the only person who did not know who she was. I desperately wanted to be that person who knows exactly who they are and what they want to do with their life. I guess I always felt that life would be so much easier if I knew exactly what I wanted. I didn't want to have to go out into the world and find myself.

So I was at The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf one day getting my usual ice blended pure chocolate and then something caught my eye. I noticed some coffee mugs with quotes on them and decided to give them a quick read. I have always loved quotes, especially the ones that make you think, reflect, or inspire you. I came across the quote above and had this amazing moment of clarity. I was going about my life all wrong. Trying to find myself, it's crazy. I know where I am. I'm right here in this moment. So that's what life is about, creating yourself. It's so simply. I can't believe it took me so long to realize this. I have always believed that we create our own destiny, so how could I not know that I had the power to create myself.

So I guess in reality I have always known who I was and what I wanted to do with my life. I just needed some inspirational words to help me realize what I already know. I am just a girl who is about to embark on a new chapter in her life. I am about to graduate college in a few months, not knowing what career I will pursue. But that is who I am. I am someone who doesn't like or need to know what tomorrow holds. I live in this moment. I do have dreams. I want to change the world. I feel so blessed to be a young woman growing up in the United States of America. I can't imagine my life in a country that doesn't allow me the same rights as men. For this I feel extremely lucky. I have two loving parents who would do anything for me, and an incredible family. I am healthy. I am loved. I am alive. So I do know that I want to give back to a world that has given me so much. That is what my life is going to be about. I want to be a writer. I want to use my words to tell stories that inspire others. Someday I want people to be able to read my words in a novel or hear them recited on a movie screen.

There is no need to find me. I already exist. I have created myself and will continue to create myself everyday.